Mind Virus E-Zine


Archive for January, 2013

Six Wrongs

Wednesday, January 30th, 2013


Disclaimer: This is not a blog post on how to buy a new car. My wife has never been “afraid” of a minivan. Like other things in life, she sees it as the right tool for the job. With three kids and a lot of “stuff,” a minivan affords her certain conveniences not even available in a Suburban. On the other hand, I AM afraid of a minivan :).

Seeing as how I enjoy the new vehicle purchasing process (and all the BS that goes with it), the only thing left to do was to have my wife decide what make and model was going to replace her current version and eventually find its way into our garage.

On this particular day – just after Katy and I had just finished lunch in a suburb about thirty minutes north of where we live, Katy suggested that we stop by a dealership and look at minivans. The Brand X dealership close by was fairly large, and as we pulled into the lot, we could see that it was very well-stocked. Sadly, outside the dealership were lots of “sharks” just waiting for new prey. Wrong 1.

The inside of the dealership was expansive, but it gave me a feeling that the owner had a “They’re here to buy a car, not attend a ball” type of attitude. In other words, the overall feeling of the showroom was very cold. Wrong 2.

Not a minute after we walked through the front door, we were attacked by a woman who looked like she was in her late 50’s/early 60’s. She was a bit overweight, wore clothing that looked like she shopped where my kids purchase school supplies, and wore an offensive perfume that smelled like she had showered in potpourri. HINT: If another woman says that you smell like flowers, flush your perfume. She wore a light pink lipstick (mistake) and light blue eyeshadow that looked like it was applied with spray painter (mistake) – which on her fair, wrinkled skin, made her look less intelligent. Light blue is only RIGHT if you have darker skin. Wrong 3.

My wife told the sales woman that we were there to take a look at their minivan, were not giving them any information, didn’t want a test drive, and just wanted to get a feel for the vehicle without too much discussion. That didn’t stop this woman from doing EXACTLY what we asked her not to do. She escorted us over to the model of the minivan on the showroom floor, asked us how many kids we had, and then blathered on about the features. Wrong 4.

As we looked through the minivan, we both noticed that the vehicle they had out on the floor was the base model minivan. No extras…just an eggshell with no yolk. Katy and I looked at each other and laughed. It was bad enough that this Brand X dealership had violated a number of important marketing principles, but putting the low-end model on the floor was the ultimate example of sheer stupidity. Okay…so they lost our business from the moment the over-perfumed woman attacked us, but even if that had not been the case, they deserved to lose our business for simply being DUMB. Wrong 5.

The sales woman asked us if we would like a brochure. Katy told her that we had reviewed what we needed to review on the Brand X website and that a brochure was not necessary. She continued to push the issue of giving us a brochure, but to do that, she would need a little information from us first (LOL). We both thought it ridiculous that the dealership didn’t have offset printed (traditional) brochures. Wrong 6.

We couldn’t wait to get out of that dealership. We both felt dirty…and not in the “naughty” kind of way. It was amazing to us how a business that is so dependent on the customer experience – was so deficient in terms of the environment they created, and the people they employed.


1). Appearance

You ARE being judged. Nothing in life is unconditional (including love). You may think you look great…and that you smell great. Find people who you trust to give your their BRUTALLY HONEST opinion.

2). Consider Your Audience

Ask yourself, “Who am I selling to and in what will make them feel comfortable.”

3). Always Demonstrate Your Best

Never start at the low end and work up. Never show the base model. Start with the best and work down.

Select your target market, but always remember that your lack of consideration, your oversight, your disregard for what is REALLY important – WILL come back to bite you in the ass.

Have A GREAT Day!

…Dr. Marc & The Mind Virus Team