I recently saw a quote that caused me to stop in my tracks, but not for the reasons that you might think. The quote to which I refer represents a great deal of advice that’s frequently dished out at motivational seminars.
Here’s the quote:
“Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row
boat and bringing along the tartar sauce.”
I don’t know who said this first, and quite frankly, I DON’T CARE. I’m sure a number of folks take credit for that quote, and I am sure that they’re all famous.
Yes, I know – who the hell AM I
to be knocking those “superstars”?
For starters, I am the voice of reason. I am the person who stands up in a room full of people with their flies down and says, “HEY – zip up!”
In my world, CONFIDENCE is not going
after Moby Dick in a row boat.
That’s called STUPIDITY!
LACK OF PREPARATION!
It is that quote that paints the picture of a huge problem with many motivational speakers: Many of them are simply full of CRAP!
It is the above quote that paints the picture of why many people fall flat on their face shortly after being “motivated” by some “guru.” In line with this quote, attendees at motivational seminars are, figuratively-speaking, frequently “motivated” to climb Mt. Everest wearing nothing more than swim trunks. Seriously. Attendees walk away with a “I can do anything…even if I don’t know what I’m doing!” attitude. Sounds great, but is that truly realistic? Am I (Dr. Marc) just being negative? Don’t answer that question just yet…
I will acknowledge the fact that motivational speakers are a hell of a lot busier than me (Dr. Marc).
Well…where do we start:
The motivational speakers put on a face of warmth and approachability, whereas I am who I am, and do not put on a false face to win over an audience. Believe me when I tell you that – when the curtain falls, some of these “great guys” turn into smelly turds. And boy do they know how to drink!
On the other hand, I am the person who will tell an enormously large, morbidly obese person that wearing a horizontal striped shirt is a no-no, and I will say what I think to their face, rather than talking behind their back. The response to my comments and/or feedback is how I judge the potential of a person. If I tell you something you did or a decision you made SUCKS, and you run away crying that “Dr. Marc was mean to me and made me cry,” then you my friend, are really no different than a train that’s about to derail.
2). More Books!
They have books available for sale at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Border’s Bookstore. Thus far, I do not. I will not publish a book of crap that is designed to sell you even more crap. I do not believe in publishing something that tells you, “You Can DO IT!” without showing you how. That’s ridiculous!
3). Love Their HIGHER POWER!
I am not a religious person. I do not mention any “higher power” during my seminars. My “beliefs” are none of your business, and your “beliefs” are none of my business. As soon as you start “believing” that your beliefs are universal truths, you are screwed – even if you don’t know it yet.
Many years back, I went to this one conference in Atlanta. The conference leader included the name of his higher power so many times that it made me want to puke. It was one step away from a revival. The funny thing is that, today, the guy is highly regarded as a CROOK. Isn’t it funny how some of the biggest crooks often have “a close connection” to their higher power…err…as a means of selling more crap?
MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER (to the audience):
“I spoke to ____ (fill in name of higher power) this morning while I was in the shower, and he told me that I would BURN IN HELL if I did not get ALL OF YOU to purchase my new $977.77 program! Ladies and gentlemen, are you going to let that happen? Well ARE YOU??? Give me an amen brother! I feel his POWAAH shining down on me! I feel his spirit! Show HIM that you love him by expressing your L-O-V-E with your Mastercard or Visa. Sorry, but my higher POWAAAH doesn’t accept American Express. Give me an amen brother!”
Is CONFIDENCE really about taking-on Moby Dick (the whale, not the other thing) with a row boat, or is that just plain f__king stupid? I vote for STUPID! Give me an amen brother!
Guess who people blame after they FAIL to successfully take-on Moby Dick with a row boat?
No, they don’t blame the motivational speaker.
They blame themselves.
When they take the advice of the motivational gurus and then FAIL, they FAIL in public, they FAIL in front of their family, and they FAIL in front of their friends. If you FAIL more than a couple of times in front of your spouse, your children, your friends, and your professional colleagues, you quickly begin to look like a jack ass. No, I DO NOT know this from personal experience. However, I do know MANY, MANY, MANY folks who have, and to this day, continue to travel that muddy road.
Contrast a motivational speaker who tells you to go after Moby Dick with a row boat, with someone like myself, who tells you that your row boat is fit for nothing more than firewood. You don’t want a row boat when going after Moby Dick: You want a huge troller.
Here’s something else that I find amusing: Did you ever notice that the motivational “guru” always some story of overcoming some massive obstacle or having been stupid and then becoming smart?
They use their experience as the catalyst for DRIVING you forward, but they truly don’t have a rat’s ass of a clue how to get from Point A to Point Z. Seriously – no clue. I’ve listened to countless stories about “Little Timmy – who was born without any legs, yet ran the Boston Marathon on his hands, and because of that accomplishment, is going to get up on stage and show you how to accomplish anything you want in life.”
Uhm…errr…EXCUSE ME! Let me just say that I am very sorry about Little Timmy’s misfortune, and I am ecstatic that he ran the Boston Marathon on his hands, but WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME ACCOMPLISHING MY GOALS??? Oh sure, Little Timmy’s experience is very inspiring…but again, WHERE THE HELL IS THE REAL CONNECTION BETWEEN LITTLE TIMMY and WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE? The sad fact is that there is NO real connection. I mean really – do you think you would leave a presentation about Little Timmy and then have a clue how to double your income in 2011, become a better spouse in 2011, or become a better parent? Hello? Is anyone home? HEL-LO!!!
If these motivational gurus had truly successful programs, they wouldn’t have to keep changing them all the time. The fact is that, after they’ve sold all their crap, they take a couple of years off (so that people will forget about all the crap they purchased from “guruville”), and then surface again with a completely different program that will take you to NEW LEVELS of success. Again, this is just the same crap in new wrapping paper. And YES, you will fall for it and you will buy it.
Real CONFIDENCE comes from knowing how to accomplish the goal. If you don’t have that level of instruction, then let me be the first to tell you that you are screwed beyond screwed. Eventually many of you will wake up and realize that the answer isn’t some dingbat with ten books on the shelves at Barnes & Noble, but rather, some big mouth guy with “a very dark personality” who smacks you with reality and tells you that you don’t go after Moby Dick with a row boat and tartar sauce.
Side Note: Wouldn’t Moby Dick be a great name for an adult film? Hey – I’m just sayin’…
Let me ask you this:
Is CONFIDENCE starting a business
with NO working capital?
Is CONFIDENCE opening up a 500 seat
restaurant in a town of 200?
If you were at a motivational conference, you would be standing and applauding these examples of stupidity, because – after all, if they could do it, so can you. Did it ever occur to you that these individuals are the exceptions, not the rule? Did it ever occur to you that there may be MORE to the story than what you’re hearing? There are always going to be the folks out there who eat whatever they want and actually lose weight. There are always going to be folks out there who mismanage their money, live in a trailer down south, have one tooth, and win $300 million in the lottery. And YES, there is always going to be a guy who kills Moby Dick using only a row boat, and a restaurant toothpick as his harpoon. Is that what you’re going to bank your life on? Seriously?
Do yourself a favor: Commit to not being an idiot in 2011.
Say NO to motivational gurus!
Say NO to social media experts!
Say NO to double-super mega systems that
promise to make you super wealthy!
Not only will you save yourself a ton of money, but you will actually preserve your integrity and maybe earn a little respect back from the most important in your life: YOU.
YOU should be the most important in YOUR life. Otherwise, who and what will you give to your children to look up to? Do you really think your spouse wants to go to bed with, and make love to some guy who is a weenie or some chick who is an unstable, emotional time-bomb? Remember, you have to get YOU in order before you can ever become a great spouse or a great parent. You can argue this point until hell freezes over, but I will still be 100% correct.
WELL THERE YOU GO…
That’s all I have to say in 2010. I hope you’ve enjoyed my blogs, and I look forward to posting more fantastic material in 2011. Please be safe this weekend, don’t be an a-hole by drinking and driving, and remember…ACCIDENTS CAUSE PEOPLE.
Best Wishes For A Happy, Healthy,
And Prosperous 2011!